FOUND: used condoms!

One day, while in our trailer at the campground, I found a small army type bag around 6" in length, width, and height with a long shoulder strap attached to it in one of my cabinets.  I wondered, hmm whose is this?  One of the grandkids I'm sure.  I look inside and find a bunch of latex slippery "things" stuck together and hold them in the palm of my hand.  I don't have my glasses on so I call to my fiance and say...."Hey, what do you think THESE are?"  He comes over, grabs it out of my hands and screams......EWWWWW   THEY ARE USED CONDOMS!   We both scream now, and I tell him to throw them in the garbage bag that happened to be on the deck.  Then we both, still screaming, run to wash our hands with soap and hot water!  EWWWW WHO COULD HAVE PUT USED CONDOMS IN THIS BAG!   What slobs!   My fiance says....."Who do you THINK?  It HAS to be one of your sons!  Well, I guess he is right and of course the oldest is the first who I accuse because he is such a jokester, he probably put them there for me to find! But this is taking it WAY too far even for him!  I say to my fiance, "Are you SURE they are condoms?!  He said, "Yes, I know a used condom when I see one, I used enough of them when I was younger as he describes every little detail to one of them including what is "inside", if you get my drift!     "But first, he says to me, you can't accuse....I'll look in the bag because there are little books in there and maybe we can figure out which grandchild's bag it is and then it would be their parent."  So, he goes thru the trash, looks thru the green bag and discovers it's my YOUNGEST son's childrens' bag!   I was SHOCKED!  I called him immediately and this is how the rest of this story unfolds:
Me: (to son #2) I DON"T THINK IT"S FUNNY WHAT YOU DID!
Son #2:  WHAT? 
Me:  You KNOW what I found in the cabinet in a little bag!
Son #2:  WHAT?
Me:  USED CONDOMS!
Son #2:  I don't know what you are talking about.  What little bag?
I tell him the whole story and he swears it was not from he and his wife. He asked me if I was sure they were condoms.
Me:  Yes, (my guy) said he knows what condoms look like, he used enough of them when he was younger and they are deffinetly used condoms!
Me:  OMG.....it must have been your BROTHER!  I am FURIOUS, I'm calling him NOW!
I call Son # 1
Me: (to son #1 )---I DON'T THINK IT'S FUNNY WHAT YOU DID! 
Son #1: - WHAT? What did I do?!
Me:  I found what you left in the green bag in the cabinet!
Son #1: - What are you talking about, what green bag, what cabinet?!
ME:  I found used condoms in a little green bag, it has to be yours!
Son #1:  Mom, I haven't used condoms since I was a teenager, they aren't mine!
Me:  OMG....then WHOSE used condoms did I have in my HANDS?!  
I was so upset and grossed out to think whose could they be.  At this point, a mother knows if her children are lying to her and both sons were NOT. So, then how did these used condoms get here? The investigation and accusations continue!
Me: (to my guy)  No, it wasn't either of my sons!
Him:  YES, it HAD to be....one of them is LYING!
I call my son back:
Me:  OMG , OMG, OMG, who would do this?
Son #1:  Now wait mom, didn't you say the handyman and his wife liked the trailer and they had access to the key?
Me:  So you think they came in and had a love fest then neatly cleaned up after themselves and STORED the used condoms in my grandchilds bag?
Son #1 Maybe
Me:  OMG that's GROSS!  I'll never use him again!
Me:  Wait a minute, do you think that maybe your 13 year old step son put them on while he was !@#!@$ off and instead of putting them in the trash because the dog goes in the trash, he put them in the bag since that cabinet was closest to where he was sleeping?
Son # 1:  I don't know, I guess it's possible. I'll talk to my wife and I'll call you back.
About 1/2 hour later he calls back:
Son #1:  My wife went to her ex's house where the 13 year old was visiting for the day and she took her son into her car and asked him if he knows what @#@#$ off is!   He said  "Yes, Mom, WHY?"  She explained why and he said.."MOM, YOU MEAN YOU, MY STEP DAD, MY NONNA AND NONNO THINK THAT I DID THAT AND SAVED THEM IN A LITTLE BAG THAT IS OWNED BY A LITTLE KID?  OMG! So, not only did he NOT do that, but the poor kid has to live with the fact he had to have this conversation and be accused of such an act!
He was mortified, my daughter in law was mortified to even have to have that talk with her son, and now we are back to square one...WHOSE used condoms could they be?  The investigation continues...  Now, I'm on the phone with  my daughter in law and she offers this suggestion:
DIL:  Is the little green bag an army bag? 
Me:  Yes, it looks like it.
DIL:  Maybe son # 2 bought it at an Army/Navy store and they do sell used items.  Maybe he bought it with them in it!
Me:  Oh, good thought....I'll call him!
Me: (to son #2)  Did you buy the green bag used from the Army/Navy store?
Son #2:  Yes, we bought 3 of them, one for each child.
Me:  Did you look inside everyone?
Son #2:  No, I can't say that I did look inside EACH one, but Mom, are you  SURE they are used condoms because the kids WERE playing with rubber gloves.
Me:  No, they are NOT rubber gloves, I know what rubber gloves look like, these are condoms.  MY FIANCE said they most certainly ARE USED CONDOMS!
Son #2:  I don't know what to tell you mom, I have no idea
Me:  Well, I'm going to have DNA done on them and I'm going to need everyones toothbrushes!  This grosses me out and I'm getting to the bottom of this!
Son #2:  Go ahead, I'm curious too.
Another hour goes by, I still have no answers, I call son # 2 back to complain some more.
Son #2:  Mom are you SURE they are condoms.
Me:  YES!!!  Ask your kids whose bag it is so we can figure this out.
Son #2:  (to 4 yr old daughter).....where is your little green bag?
daughter:  right here daddy
Son #2:  (to middle child - 7 yr old son) where is your little green bag?
7 yr old son:  upstairs
Son #2: (to eldest child -  9 yr old son) where is your little green bag?
9 yr old son: Up the mountains
AHHHA so it's the 9 year olds bag I exclaim!
Son #2 (to 9 yr old) What is in your bag?
9 yr old:  little books and rubber gloves
OMG>>>>>>DID HE SAY RUBBER GLOVES?????? 
Me: (to son # 2)  Wait a minute, let me get my eye glasses and get a pair of rubber gloves on!
I go get a clean pair of rubber gloves (which, by the way do NOT look anything like I found in the little green bag), I put the gloves on, I get my eye glasses on and I proceed outside to get the "little green bag" back out of the trash.  I'm still on the phone with son #2 while I dump the contents, books and used condoms on a rock on the ground and now I'm forced to peel apart the USED CONDOMS.....YUK!
^^^^^^^ OMG^^^^^^^   As I peel one from the other, lo and behold......they ARE LATEX GLOVES!OMG   OMG   OMG!  LATEX GLOVES!  I couldn't believe it!  I am at this point, relieved, hysterical with laughter, followed by extreme nervousness thinking back to all the accuasations!
First my guy said it had to be one of my sons and one of them was lying!
I said it had to my my 13 year old grandson !@@#$## off in them and stored them in the bag!
My oldest son said it was probably the handman and his wife having a love fest in the trailer!
My daughter in law said my son probably bought it at the Army/Navy store with them in it!
WHAT AN ORDEAL!  The worst being my poor grandson being accused and having to have that @$#@#$ talk with his mother! For THAT I am soooo sorry!
BUT......you may ask, why am I blogging this?   BECAUSE IT ALL STARTED WHEN MY FIANCE SAID THEY WERE USED CONDOMS! HE is the one who insisted on it!  HE is the one who started this whole damn thing!  UGH!