Look In My Pocket

This episode took place when we were on vacation.  We knew most of the guests staying at the hotel because we all went the same weeks in the summer for years.  The back story on this is that one of the women there, is a big flirt and especially flirtatious with my guy.  So, I admit there is a bit of jealousy there on my part.  We'll call her Jane for the sake of this story.

Although most of us hung out every evening by the pool at our hotel, occasionally some would walk two hotels down where there was a bar on the beach.  So, on this one particular evening, that was the case; some went to the bar down on the beach and my guy and I decided to take a walk and we stopped by the bar to say hello to our friends.  One of our close friends, I call her Mary, asked my guy for some money as she was running low on cash.  This is how the rest of this conversation went:
Him:  "I'm a sorry, I have a no money with me."  
Mary:  "Oh, come on, you have to have money!"
Him:  "No, really I don't!" (as he puts his hands in his short pockets to indicate they are empty.)
Mary:  (razzes him some more, (kiddingly)
Him:   (seriously)..."I really don't!  Here, see for yourself!"  (as he leans sideways, as he pulls out his short pocket for her to slip her hand into!)
Mary:  "Oh, that's the oldest trick in the book!"
Him:  What?
Mary:  "I know what you want me to find!" (kiddingly)
Him:  (real serious)"What?  I have a no money, look!"
The conversation ends there because thank goodness Mary KNOWS better than to put her hands in his short pockets!

Now,  I know he meant it innocently.   He just really wanted her to believe him when he said that he didn't have any money on him.   I waited until we walked away from the bar and were on our way back to our hotel when I brought back this discussion.  I felt I had to explain to him that in this country you don't ask a woman to put her hands in your pocket because it has another meaning.  I went on to say to him that if this conversation was between he and Jane, the flirty girl, she would have certainly put her hands in his pocket and came up with a handful of private parts (to put it mildly).  Then I would have gotten really pissed off and who knows WHAT would have happened next!  He said I was crazy.  He saw NOTHING wrong with what he did and didn't understand the underlying suggestion by inviting a girl to go into a mans pocket.  Needless to say, this lead to a HUGE fight.  I wanted to get my point accross to him so it would not happen again and he continued to defend his innocence.  I polled many,people about this.  Both while on vacation and even when we got back home.   Everyone agreed with me!  He said in Italy no one would ever think anything sexual from this situation.  So, I put it to the test.  His brother, who was also born and raised in Italy is also now living in this country.  One day he stopped over and I approached him on this very subject.  This is how this conversation went:
Me: (to his brother)  "Do you have any  money on you?"
Brother:  "I'm a sorry, I don't.( as he puts his hands in his pockets)
Me:  "Oh, come on, you have to have money".
Brother:  "Really, I don't, here....look!" (and he opens his pocket for me to put my hand into!)
Me:  "You would REALLY let me put my hand in your pocket?"
Brother:  "Yes, why not?  I really don't have money on me.  My wallet is in the truck.  Look!". (as he motions again for me to put my hands in his pocket...with a very serious face, I might add.)

So there you have it.   Unbelievable!

Our First Date

Keep in mind when you read this story that when  I met my now, fiance, we both had children from previous marriages.

I met my fiance at a social event and after a few more similar social events he asked me out on a "real" date.  Just the two of us.  He asked me if I'd like to go to dinner the following Saturday and of course I said yes.  He picked me up and off we go to a local restaurant.  Of course I'm real nervous, you know how that is, eating for the first time in front of a new date.  You're careful not to order corn on the cob or anything that may get stuck in your teeth because you are self conscience, etc.  After looking at the menu for a bit, the waitress came over and this is how the conversation went:

Waitress:  (to me) "What would you like to order?"
Me:  (I order....can't remember now what I ordered but that's not important)
Waitress:  (to him) "And for you sir?"
Him: "Nothing."
Me:  "Nothing?"
Him:  "I already ate."
Me:  "WHAT?"
Him:  "I had to cook for the kids, I was hungry, so I ate."

OMG.....I can't believe he just said that!   I didn't know what to say!  I just clammed up and sat there so annoyed and mostly embarassed because now I was about to eat a meal by myself with him just sitting there watching me!  I was horrified!

The story doesn't end here.  The waitress brings over MY meal that I ordered and now this is the second half of this unbelieveable first date:

Me:  (to waitress)  "Thank you."
Him: "Oh, that looks good."
Me:  (too stunned to say anything)
Him: (again) "Umm, that looks good, can I have a bite?"
Me:  (again, too stunned to say anything)
Him: he proceeds to take his fork (that was previously on the table before we sat) and started picking at my food!
Me:  (again, too stunned to say anything!)

We both continued to eat my meal and ended up talking the night away! And THAT was the beginning of a long relationship with my guy.  Anyone else would have taken the high road, but there was something in this man that was worth just one more date, just one more date.  Now I've spent a lifetime with this man and I enjoy looking back at these hysterical memories with no regrets.

Really?

Mid morning I boiled 2 eggs so that they would be cooled by lunch time so I could make an egg salad sandwich.  My "better half" told me the timer was going off, so he removed the pot with the two eggs and left them in the pot, in the sink, and filled it with cold water.  "THANKS!", I said, as I was happily surprised.  I ran out to do an errand and upon my return I see 1 egg in the pot along with old coffee grinds, soap bubbles and other miscellaneous debris that were thrown in the sink and landed in the pot with my egg!  I inquire to him, "What happened here and where is the other egg?"  He replies, "Oh, I ate one egg".  I said, "But what's my egg doing sitting in this pot, filled with this crap?  He replies, "Oh, I cleaned out  my espresso machine!"   Now, I know there is a hard shell surrounding and protecting my egg from this trash, but WHO does this?   And so, the mini argument commences........

Soup or Salad

My fiance who is from Italy, not only speaks with an accent but he doesn't always understand clearly what people are saying to him.  Partly because he can't hear well, and partly due to a translation problem. 

We went to a restaurant and after looking at the menu, the waitress came over and this is how this conversation went:
Waitress:  Sir would you like soup or salad?
Him:  Yes
Waitress:  (looks at him with a puzzled look on her face) soup or salad?
Him: Yes
Waitress:  (Looks to me for help) 
Me:  Do you want soup OR a salad?  
Him:  Oh!  I wanna soup!
Me:  What did you think she was asking you?
Him:  I thought she was asking me if I wanted a SUPER SALAD!