Toilet Paper "Tails"

Ok, so I'm sitting on the toilet when all of a sudden, the door bell rings!  No one else is home and I've left the front door wide open.  The only thing between me and my unwanted guest is an unlocked, full glass storm door.  I've also left my bedroom and bathroom doors wide open, so I am feeling extra vulnerable at this point.  So, I do my thing, get off the toilet, quick flush, quick wash and I head to the front door.  But wait, something's not right!  I feel a dragging sensation.  I turn to look and sure enough, I have a trail of toilet paper following me at least 12 feet in length!  It goes down the hallway, turns the corner into my bedroom and I am assuming turns another corner into my bathroom.  I quickly pull, pull and this thing is still coming!  I give a hard yank and it is freed from the roll.  I'm still pulling to gather this trail of paper and now I have a huge wad of it.....what am I going to do with it?  I am two steps away from view of my front door!   So, I put it in my pocket....lovely look, I might add.   I take a couple more steps, to find, no one is at my door.  I continue to the door and I found a package left by the UPS worker.   Crisis averted!  But it does bring a another "tail" to mind.

Once my fiance and I were at a huge Contractors Convention in Florida.  It was early in the morning and there was a slow steady stream of people coming into the Convention Center.  Well, in front of us was a group of men, I'd guess around 40 years old and they were drinking coffee, taking in the sights. Now picture this..... The one man was wearing jeans and a tucked in polo shirt.  He also had a "tail" of toilet paper coming out of the top of his pants, hanging down to about his mid calf!  As if THAT isn't bad enough.....MY fiance walks up to him, taps him on the shoulder and says............"You have toilet paper stuck to you" and proceeded to YANK that toilet paper away from his pants and HANDED it to the guy!   YUK!   OMG......not only was that man mortified.........but I was GROSSED OUT!    How could my fiance have TOUCHED that toilet paper!!!!    I made him find the nearest men's room and go wash his hands.